Welcome To

All Nite Vans'

Vanner Dictionary

A collection of Vanning terms, Organizations, and Expressions to help you better understand the vanning community.......or not.

This Page is a parody! Although based on fact, It's just for fun. if you have any additions, feel free to email me, I'll be happy to add them. If you feel the need to flame me, be forwarned. All past and future flames will be posted to my upcoming "House Of Flames" Page. So, have fun with it. Remember......it's just a joke, just a joke ,just a joke, just a joke........*


Asshole Trap: any wire, pole, stake, decoration or device which catches, trips, or impales a drunken asshole victim, including a piece of almost dead lawn furniture, left for the unwary, hence The name "asshole trap"


Bible: Almost always found in the Goody bag, Can Contain a schedule of activities at the Run, A confusing map or maps, a list of things to do in the local area, if any, sometimes a list of do's and don'ts, and once in awhile some amusing anecdotes. it Is Often not read until the ride home.

Blender or Binford blender: Basically, just as it sounds , as more and more vanners bring their own blenders and create Delicious and sometimes frightening and/or dangerous concoctions. See Also: Rules of engagement, Duct tape, Lawn chair


Council or Van Council: A group of vanners, Usually by region, representing council reps, who in turn represent their respective clubs.

Note: Not to be confused with Council of Councils, or "C of C", whose role is somewhat unclear at times

Council of Councils: The overseers of the councils, although their Incomprehensible policies and rules of succession are almost identical to the Nats Board. See Also: Nats Board

Dash Plaque: A small icon or plaque, included in the Goody bag, representing that Run. Rarely attached to a dash board as magnetic properties, if any, will not adhere it to a plastic dashboard. the adhesive or tape included is usually nonfunctional. See Also: Duct Tape /Uses of

Designated sleeping area : Usually in a Vanner's own van, although it could include: Under the van, a tent, a sleeping bag, a lawn chair, or a pile of leaves. Generally it is considered bad form to tape and decorate a vanner in this area, but accidents have been known to happen.

see Also: Duct tape, lawn Chair

Duct Tape: At one time may have actually been used to repair ducts, widely used by vanners for everything !! uses include repairing exhaust systems, attaching Dash plaques, securing tarps threatened by monsoons, and of course, taping other drunken vanners to any available surface. See Also: Lawn Chair, Designated Sleeping Area
Dust Buster: A hand held vacumn cleaner, also a derogatory reference to a brand of Mini-van, the Ford Aerostar, perhaps derived from it's shape, sound ,load capacity, or available horsepower. See also:, Mini van

Duster: A trophy or award scorned by many vanners that think it's just a dust collector and it's the run, not the award that matters.

Early, or Early Van: Referring to any early model of Van, spanning from the early to late 60's, Followed by a Mid, as in Mid Chevy, than, late models, which brings us to the present. although with the new "Euro turd melted in the rain" look of many of the new vans perhaps the category "Ugly" could be added.

Event Patch or pin: An embroidered patch , or enameled metal pin, usually with the Host club's logo and artwork representing the Theme of the Run. Highly collectable to some. club colors have been seen that are held together or made up totally of Event Patches.
Fair Weather Vanner: Either the literal meaning, one who only goes to Runs that have ideal weather, and if attending a Run with bad weather complains of it incessantly. as a lot of Runs have far from ideal weather, this limits their choices. Also one who only supports the big Runs, and is typically unavailable to help when needed.


Goodie or Goody Bag: A bag, presented by the Host Club at a Van Run. Can include a container of wd-40 lubricant barely large enough to service one matchbox vehicle, a sample of hand cleaner of a size to wash same vehicle, many bumper stickers of radio stations and organizations no one has ever heard of, several keychains of unknown origin, and promotional auto and racing stickers you'd look foolish applying to your vehicle. perhaps reflecting an ebbing sex drive, one condom is often included. The goody bag is a good source of kindling for a Ground fire, and the contents or lack of are a popular thing to whine about for many.

also may contain one "Bible" and one "Dash Plaque",

Ground fire: A campfire usually confined to the ground but due to overzealousness, sometimes enveloping the surrounding campsites and buildings, which is typically not encouraged.


Hall Party: A party held sometimes to commemorate a date ie: a club's anniversary, but often held just as an excuse to get together with other Vanners. A great break from the "No RUNs Blues" During the winter.

Hard Luck Award or Trophy: An award or trophy given to a vanner when disaster strikes in the course of making a Run. Generally given to a deserving vanner that has suffered a genuine hardship such as a mechanical breakdown, accident, or the loss of a loved one(s) or family pet(s) enroute but still makes the Run. Some absurd but actual reasons given to obtain this award include: "my radio broke and I had to drive 2 hours without tunes" and "I deserve it because I got cheated out of that other award".

Host Club: A group of Dedicated vanners, usually, but not always one

club, that hosts a Truck-in, or Run. They almost always work quite hard to ensure all have a good time. This is becoming increasingly difficult to do as attendance is down at many Runs and the Host Club is very often on a break even or loss situation.


Jungle Juice: a concoction made of any left over booze, various fruits, and anything
that tastes reasonable, (or not), mixed, blended, or run over, served out of a garbage can, a wooden bucket, a glass, or perhaps a shoe
See Also: Blender, Binford Blendor


Lawn Chair: At one time widely used as lawn furniture, although at a Truck-in it is actually a deadly trap for the unwary drunken vanner. In very rare cases can be used as a Designated sleeping area , although it is quite risky and can lead to inadvertent taping and torture.

See Also: Duct Tape, Designated Sleeping area

Mini-van: A vehicle that is the center of many heated debates as to it's qualifications as a van. Offtimes it is no bigger than a car, carries no more than a car, has doors like a car, and resembles a small, short, tall, car

See Also: Dustbuster

Mr. And Ms. Show: A competition open to all Vanners, usually held during a band break, at night, and in 20 degree temperatures. Often the contest leads to nudity and lewd behavior , Both on the part of the contestants, and the audience, although that is not usually considered to be a bad thing.


Nats, or Van Nats, or Van Nationals or National Truck-in,:

The largest of the Truck-ins. Held in a different location and hosted by a different club or clubs each year. Note: Not to be confused with the Nats board which does not actually host or do any physical labor during this event. That is done by the Host Club or clubs.

See also: Host Club

Nats Board: A small group of vanners that make the guidelines and own the name for a national truck -in. They are not elected to office by a majority vote of Vanners, but appointed by those within their own ranks. It is not certain what their full purpose is or what these guidelines might be as they become indignant, defensive and even abusive when asked by the very same people they claim to represent.

See also:

C of C Board

N.F.K. or No Fu#kin' Kids: A rule that attempts to prevent vanners from attending many runs with their children. This rule is usually proposed by Vanners that had their kids during their promiscuous youth and don't want any around now that they are grown. Though a reasonable idea late at night, during Mr. and Ms. Shows and most Hall Parties, it questions where the next generation of vanners are going to come from.


promoter: A term in disuse for some time but seeing an unwelcome comeback. Basically, one who promotes a run for no discernible vanning organization or reason and is mysterious and/or downright evasive when asked where the profits are going. The Promoter often claims to make no profit but holds increasingly larger events each year. This is or was considered unacceptable, as vanners generally give excess profits to charity and/or to support vanning in some form. these non "evants" aften drain vans and attendance from sanctioned runs held by and for real vanners.
Puppy, or Puppy Trucker: A novice Vanner, generally on his/her first run. Note: This is an endangered breed as too many vanners feel obligated to torture them to the point of extinction , thus ensuring they never return to another Run.
Qualude, or Lude: See also: Duct tape, lawn chair, Designated sleeping area


Rules of engagement: Varies from run to run and club to club. generally limits and defines the amount of abuse doled out to any Vanner unlucky or dumb enough to pass out outside, or in any non Designated sleeping area. See Also: Designated sleeping area, Lawn Chair, Duct tape

Run: A gathering of Vanners, or the actual act of going to a Run

See Also: Truck-in, Van Run

Show Puppy: A common , though not very complimentary term for a vanner that goes to a run mainly seeking a trophy or award for showing his/her van.

See Also: Duster

Sleazy Bar: a poorly put together bar, made of plywood, cardboard, or most anything available ( preferab;y flammable, as the bar almost always ends up as fire fodder) where one consumes odd concoctions , dishes out abuse (to both friends and puppies) occasionally does foolish acts for t-shirts and other goodies, to come away feeling sleezey or waking up to a sleeze or being called sleezey. See also: Blender or Binford Blender


Theme: A concept for a Run that can be anything from Mardi Gras' to Star Trek. Spanning the amusing to the bizarre, a lot of fun, and a chance to celebrate halloween over and over.
Truck-in: A gathering of vanners to socialize, party, and in some cases, actually show their vans. held outdoors as impractical to have vans and campfires indoors. Noise levels also make holding indoors unacceptable.

See Also: Run, Van Run

Two per cent vanner : or the preferred: 2% Vanner: Opinions vary greatly on this definition, the original accepted form was meant to represent the so called concerned, involved, "2%" of Vanners that wanted to civilize, organize, and preserve the sport. A more up to date version might be the 2% that actually make it to more than just the Nats, support other clubs and runs, promote Vanning in general ,and can get their butts out of their own camp sites to visit other Vanners.
Van: A term for a vehicle whose definition is yet to be determined. Another sore subject for vanners to argue about. many ambiguous forms are accepted. Example: A Mini van, which often resembles a car more than a truck is an accepted form. Panel trucks, which are trucks that resemble pickups on steroids are also acceptable forms at many runs, whereas a stepvan, which is a truck, shaped crudely like a Van, and often has the word "Van" bolted to it, is not.
Van club: A group of Vanners, with their own identity and/or club name. Many Van clubs have a uniform, or colors. The plumage of these Vanners can be quite colorful and imaginative. There has been a flurry of debates lately as to what defines a Van Club, Due in part, perhaps to the spontaneous creation of a club to obtain an award at a Run recently.
Vanner: One who vans, not always the owner of a Van, or member of a Van Club, but who has the essence of the sport, who embraces the values. This definition is a subject for debate as almost everything in vanning, but hasn't been argued to death as of yet.
Vanner Minute: As in, "I'll be there in a minute". This minute could last a real minute but typically lasts from many minutes, to hours, to not at all.

Virtual Vanner: A Vanner that has access to the internet. Increasing in popularity as more Vanners get online. Fills in the boring months with no Runs and many web sites provide info on clubs and future events.


"Wuz" Vanner: A vanner that usually does no runs other than the Nats, bores you with stories of how vanning "wuz", complains about the run he/she is at, yet will do little or nothing to improve vanning.
Walkabout: Literally, the act of walking about visiting other Vanners at their campsites during a Run.

Zip code vanner: A vanner that has so many runs being held in his/her immediate area he/she feels no need or obligation to drive very far from his/her zip code to support other vanners' runs.

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